I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
