and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
