My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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