3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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