My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
