she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
