No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
