Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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