She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
