Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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