dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
