I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
