Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
