New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
