Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
