There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
