I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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