Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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