flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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