I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
