I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so let's talk penis.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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