I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
