I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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