Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
