Fuck appropriateness.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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