it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
