Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
