If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
