your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
