My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
