yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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