im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
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