I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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