Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
