I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
