Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
