Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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