On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
