So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
