So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
