Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
