Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
