Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
