A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
