Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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