I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
