We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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