Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
