i permit you to call me
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
