I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
