he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
