The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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